I love ski racing and skiing in general, but one thing that I find the most embarrassing about the sport is, yep, you guessed it…

Goggle tans.

You’re up at around six thirty in the morning, you get your stuff on, scarf down breakfast, get your backpack, skis, poles and boots and you’re off to the lift. The last thing on your mind is if you put enough sunscreen on, that is, when you’re half awake and yawning.

You put your boots on and hop onto the lift. Usually, being a ski racer, you’ll meet one of your teammates and go up the chair with them, chat about who said what and who has a thing for who, so there goes your second chance of slapping on sunscreen.

It’s only until about lunchtime that you put on the sunscreen, and by then, you’re already starting to look like you have a beard (something grossly attractive when you’re a teenage girl). Some people think it’s cool to have a goggle tan, and I guess it’s okay when you’re around your ski friends, but once you go back to school people look at you funny. “I thought that only guys did Movember,” they’d say. Oh, the humiliation.

Some skier’s goggle tans fester early on in the season, but thankfully, being one who tans easily, there is an SPF that goes up to 110 (you can buy it at Walmart) and I didn’t have that big of a goggle tan (if not none) when I came back from Vail this year. SCORE!

Some of my good buds get really bad ones, I mean, how can you do that to yourself? One of my friends had a goggle tan so dark that one half of his face looked like he was black, and the other half was whiter than the driven snow.

Also kids, if you think that goggle tans are just for the recreational ski racer and the spandex-wearing fool, think again. Even Kim Kardashian gets one.

What a scary sight.

That’s all for now, my fellow snow bunnies. Until next time!